I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
