Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
