I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
