I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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