the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
