Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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