I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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