He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize