oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Houston, we have a blender
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
