I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
