VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
