I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
