He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
