I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize