Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I wear drunk well.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
