Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
