Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
