he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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