we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
