Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize