something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
