my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
