is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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