Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
