I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
