Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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