Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
