idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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