Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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