is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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