Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
