So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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