Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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