so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
