sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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