I just pynch a tree in the face
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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