he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
