Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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