I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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