we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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