No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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