Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize