Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
