would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
