how can u be prego again
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
