"it" just moved
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize