we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
