i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
