I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
