i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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