i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
where am i from again
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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