It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
