He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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