so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
