dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
