apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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