Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
