i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
